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Monthly Archives: October 2014

How Much Of Yourself Should You Share In Business?

In one of our private groups (not gonna say which one for obvious reasons), there is a candid, juicy discussion about those “edgy” parts of ourselves that are calling to be expressed, and the fear letting those parts be really SEEN and out there.

One of my clients practices the paradigm of open relationships. Another is a shaman.  I challenged another to discover “the thing” that she’s not saying, yet.

nj115-dae8a704-e163-4905-85e0-b23631da6288-v2As for me, well… I’m a witch.

A lot, LOT of women ask me about how I found the courage to integrate the Goddess into my business. The answer is, I couldn’t NOT.

I had spent over 10 years hiding from my family, and it was incredibly painful. I can still see myself sitting on our bed in our Brooklyn apartment, me with my Caroline Myss archetype cards and Leland laying there reading his book and our two black cats (yes, really) as I flipped through the deck trying to find what I was supposed to call myself.

I said, “I can’t be a Queen, that’s already taken.” (Note the mindset.)

“And besides, I’m not a Queen. The only thing left here is Goddess. And I can’t call myself Goddess, because that’s ridiculous.”

He said, “That’s the only thing you CAN call yourself.”

And he was right. Thou art goddess, Goddess.

This was in 2008 when I was a hot mess. The Feminine was markedly NOT everywhere in the online space, like she is now, what with all these amazing women being seen and visible and sharing their secret selves, gifts and superpowers.

So yeah, it was a little more edgy.

But being open about it in my business was a stand I had to take for myself. Ten years was my limit of being in the closet. I remember feeling, “Enough is enough.”

At the same time, I also made the conscious decision NOT to flaunt it. As it just IS, so it is in my marketing.   Little winks, here and there.   I’ll talk about it when asked… or when it’s relevant.

Natural, no big whoop. Because it just is.

When you are open about who you really are, you inspire others and give them permission to be who they really are. It’s one of the greatest ways we can serve our peeps.

AND at the same time, you can’t make it about you. At the end of the day, nobody cares about the witch thing. Yes, I’m an initiated priestess. So is every other woman out there right now who is ready to walk through the gate, claim her lineage, creates a practice and BE that.

We are all beautiful and unique snowflakes. 🙂

So how do you incorporate those parts of yourself that are crying OUT to be expressed in your business?

Here’s how you DON’T do it. You DON’T turn yourself inside out trying to find a “so what do you do?” statement that lets everyone know you’re a 3rd Degree High Poobah or whatever. Or cling tightly to your idea of what it HAS to look like. Remember, your – ahem – inherently limited perspective is just one of a zillion that exist simultaneously.

You do it by just doing it.

You do it by NOT hiding it, whatever “it” is.

You do it by doing the work of removing the layers so your Divine Self – your Essence – can come through, and go about your business from that place.

You do it by bringing in the wisdom and the knowledge and the life experience you’ve gained, when it’s in service to whatever you happen to be doing, designing or delivering for your clients.

And that’s my challenge to you, this day. To drop the struggle of self expression and instead just express yourself.

If your lineage is meant to be part of your niche, message, or tag line, or logo, or whatever… it will emerge. I promise.

And either way, you will be free. You will inspire. Others will SEE you and your Divine Right Clients will be naturally drawn to you.

Your presence and Essence is enough.
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Client Spotlight – Phyllis Wilson

I’m not panicking about money anymore!”

Before Get Clients in 30 Days, I had been just scraping by in my business for over 3 years.

phyllis1-1I was really surprised at how much my business changed as a result of this program. I expected to learn a system for getting (more) clients. I could never in a million years have anticipated that I would create a brand new program, significantly revamp another program, get a new domain, re-brand, create my own private Facebook group, and start consistently bringing in more clients ready to do higher level work for way more money. But that’s exactly what happened!

I’ve got MORE people paying me 5x what I was previously charging than I ever had when offering single, one-off sessions or packages. And these are people who have been on my list for a year or more!  I’m not panicking about money anymore. This is huge! Not only do I know how to bring it in, it also feels like it’s just happening, with very little effort. It all just flows.

Phyllis Wilson
Spirited Business Mentor for Creatives, Coaches & Healers

How To Give Yourself Permission To Be Successful

I’m often asked by the women I mentor, “Elizabeth, how is it that you built a multi-6-figure business so quickly?”

Yes, I have the skills – marketing, sales, coaching, copywriting, and more – that go into making a business successful.  But the real answer is that I gave myself permission to be successful.

Now you might be thinking, “Easier said than done, Elizabeth,” especially if you wrestle with doubts, fears and feeling like you’re not good enough.  (Believe me, I know EXACTLY what that’s like!)

Woman Leaping through the AirThere is a part of us that longs for approval and begs for permission.  As you’ve probably discovered, you can give time to that part ‘til your dying day… and still it’ll never be satisfied.

At some point you have to just say, “This is who I am.  This is what I’m going to do.  Starting… now.”

Once I made the commitment to go for what I really wanted in business, no matter how much “stuff” I had to move… everything became easier.  I discovered that there’s actually a method to giving yourself permission.  I call it The Permission Method and I share that here with you today…

Step 1: Recognize that all the “yeahbuts” aren’t really your own.

As human beings, we can’t help but “pick up stuff” from the people in our environment, especially as children.   Then the beliefs that are handed to us when we’re young end up running the show for years– rearing their heads as doubts, fears, and feelings of inadequacy every time we try to take a step forward.

Most people will never realize this is happening, let alone shift it.  But as entrepreneurs, moving through fear is not an option – it’s a requirement.

Here’s a simple way to get started.  The next time you feel doubt, fear or an inkling of “I can’t,” stop and examine the idea from a place of curiosity.  Is it truly yours?  Probably not. You can safely release it or give it back to whoever it came from.

Step 2: Surround yourself with support

One of the most vulnerable stories I share with my circle is that of my husband Leland calling me forward.  At a time when I was completely on my knees, he was the one person who said, “I will not stand for you holding yourself as anything less than the powerful woman you truly are.”  He could see my brilliance when I couldn’t see it for myself.

Without that reflection, I can honestly say that I’d probably still be in the same place.  And that’s why it’s SO important that you surround yourself with people who will SEE you.

Most women don’t have people in their day to day lives who truly see them and hold them accountable to their greatness.  But I promise you, there are people out there who WILL.  It’s your responsibility to find them, even when it means investing in yourself to do it.

Step 3: Create impeccable boundaries.

The flipside of receiving support is boundaries.  Surrounding yourself with amazing people also means limiting your exposure to negative, dream-stealing people and ideas.

No, this doesn’t mean you have to give up all of your friends – in fact, your growth can be a true gift to those you care about.  You can have compassion for those who are hurting, as negative people truly are. But you must take back your power by setting clear boundaries with the people who drag you down.  (This also goes for what media you allow into your field. Turning off the television is a great first step!)

Step 4: Put yourself in the game.

When the clutter of doubt, fear, and negativity is gone, what do you get to say YES to?

Hire the mentor.  Go to the event.  Reach out to that potential partner.  Throw the “rules” out the window and be yourself.  Say what you really mean without worrying what others will think.  When you’re feeling shaky, reach out to your support system.

Saying YES to your dream consistently is a practice, one that creates incredible momentum.  Small “yeses” count – celebrate them all!

When you start applying The Permission Method you’ll discover your energy shifting from a place of uncertainty, confusion or fear to a place of personal power – the best energy state from which to create and grow your business.

Whatever you want to create this year – whether it’s to double or triple your business, cut the time you work in half, treat yourself to a 2-week vacation, share the stage with big players, land your book deal – it is totally possible for you…. when you give yourself permission!